What is a digital safety plan?

A digital safety plan is a personalized strategy for securing your devices, accounts, and online presence when you are at risk of tech-enabled abuse. It covers steps like checking for spyware, changing passwords, reviewing location-sharing settings, and establishing safe communication channels. Unlike a general cybersecurity checklist, a digital safety plan accounts for the reality that making sudden changes could alert an abusive partner — so timing and sequence matter as much as the actions themselves.

How do I know if someone is monitoring my phone or computer?

Warning signs include unexpected battery drain, increased data usage, your device running unusually hot, apps you do not recognize, or your partner knowing details about conversations or searches you conducted privately. On iPhones, check Settings > Privacy & Security > Location Services for unfamiliar apps. On Android, review Settings > Apps for anything you did not install. Stalkerware often disguises itself as a system utility or parental control app. If you suspect monitoring, do not delete the app immediately — this could alert the person who installed it. Instead, seek help from a domestic violence advocate to plan your next steps safely.

Should I change all my passwords at once if I think my partner has access?

Not necessarily. If your abusive partner is actively monitoring your accounts, changing all your passwords at once may alert them that you are taking steps to protect yourself, which can escalate the situation. A safer approach is to work with a domestic violence advocate to create a phased plan. You might start by securing a single new email account on a device your partner does not have access to, then gradually secure other accounts as part of a broader safety plan. Timing these changes around your exit plan — if you have one — is often the safest approach.

Can an abuser track my location even if I turn off location sharing?

Yes. Location can be tracked through multiple methods beyond the obvious sharing settings. AirTags or Tile trackers can be hidden in bags, vehicles, or clothing. Google Timeline may log your movements if your Google account is accessible to someone else. Shared phone plans allow the account holder to view location data through the carrier. Some stalkerware apps override device settings entirely. Check your car, bag, and belongings for unfamiliar small devices. Review your Google and Apple account settings for connected devices you do not recognize. If you are on a shared phone plan, assume location data is visible to the account holder.

Where can I get help creating a digital safety plan?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788) has trained advocates who can help you assess your digital risks and plan your next steps. The Safety Net project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence specializes in technology-facilitated abuse and offers resources for both survivors and advocates. Many local domestic violence organizations also have staff trained in digital safety. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For all of these resources, try to reach out from a device and location your abuser does not monitor.

Digital Safety Plan: Protect Yourself from Tech-Enabled Abuse (2026)

Safety First

If you are in an abusive situation, be careful when and where you read this guide. Use a device your abuser does not monitor — a work computer, a library computer, or a trusted friend's phone. If you need to use a shared device, open a private or incognito browser window and close it when you are finished. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Why You Need a Digital Safety Plan

Technology touches nearly every part of daily life — and in abusive relationships, that reach becomes a weapon. An abusive partner may use your phone to track your location, access your accounts to monitor conversations, or exploit shared devices to maintain surveillance long after you have tried to set boundaries.

A digital safety plan is not just a list of passwords to change. It is a deliberate, step-by-step strategy for reclaiming control over your digital life while accounting for the reality that sudden changes can escalate an already dangerous situation. The goal is to secure your devices, accounts, and online presence in a way that protects you — not one that puts you at greater risk.

Whether you are preparing to leave, have recently separated, or are still deciding what to do, the steps below can help you understand your digital exposure and take action when you are ready.

Step 1: Assess Your Digital Footprint

Before making any changes, take stock of what is shared and what is exposed. Understanding the full picture prevents you from securing one area while leaving another wide open. Ask yourself:

Shared accounts: Do you share logins for email, streaming services, cloud storage, banking, or social media? Does your partner know your passwords or have saved access on their devices?
Shared devices: Are there tablets, laptops, or smart home devices in your home that your partner can access? Do you share a family computer?
Shared phone plans: Is your phone on your partner's account? Shared plans can give the account holder access to call logs, text records, and location data through the carrier.
Location sharing: Is Find My iPhone, Google Location Sharing, Life360, or a similar service active on your phone? Have you shared your location with your partner through any app?
Connected devices: Are there smart speakers, security cameras, or connected doorbells in your home? These can log activity, record audio, or be accessed remotely.

Write this information down — on paper, not on a shared device — so you have a clear map of what needs to be addressed. Keep this list somewhere safe.

Step 2: Secure Your Phone

Your phone is likely the most personal device you own — and the one most vulnerable to abuse. Start here.

Check for Spyware and Stalkerware

Stalkerware is software that someone installs on your phone to monitor your calls, texts, location, and app activity — often without any visible sign. Look for these warning signs: unusual battery drain, higher-than-normal data usage, your phone running hot when idle, or apps you do not recognize.

On iPhone: Go to Settings > Privacy & Security > Location Services and review which apps have location access. Check Settings > General > VPN & Device Management for unfamiliar profiles.
On Android: Go to Settings > Apps and look for apps you did not install. Check Settings > Security > Device Admin Apps for anything unfamiliar. Consider running a scan with a reputable anti-malware app such as Malwarebytes.

If you find stalkerware, do not delete it immediately. Removing it may alert the person who installed it. Contact a domestic violence advocate to plan your response safely.

Lock Your Device

Use a strong passcode — at least six digits, not a pattern or four-digit PIN that can be observed from a distance. Enable biometric unlock (fingerprint or face recognition) if your device supports it, but be aware that in some situations an abuser could force biometric unlock while you are asleep. If this is a concern, you can temporarily disable biometrics and rely solely on your passcode.

Step 3: Secure Your Accounts

If your partner knows your passwords — or could guess them — your accounts are not secure, regardless of what device you use.

Create a New, Private Email Address

Before changing any other passwords, set up a brand-new email account on a device your partner does not have access to. Use this email as the recovery address for your important accounts going forward. Do not link it to your name if possible — use a variation or pseudonym.

Change Passwords Strategically

Use strong, unique passwords for every account. A password manager can help you generate and store them securely. Prioritize your email, banking, and any accounts tied to your physical safety (such as home security systems). If you cannot change everything at once, start with the accounts your partner is least likely to check immediately.

Enable Two-Factor Authentication

Two-factor authentication (2FA) adds a second layer of security — typically a code sent to your phone or generated by an app. Enable it on your email, banking, and social media accounts. Use an authenticator app rather than SMS codes if possible, since SMS can be intercepted on shared phone plans. Make sure the 2FA is tied to a device and phone number your partner does not control.

Review Recovery Options

Check the recovery email address and phone number on every important account. If your partner's email or phone is listed as a recovery option, they can reset your password and regain access at any time. Update these to your new private email and a phone number you control.

Step 4: Manage Location Tracking

Location tracking is one of the most common tools of tech-enabled abuse. It can happen through your phone, your car, or even small devices hidden in your belongings.

Apple Find My: Open the Find My app and check the People tab. Remove anyone you do not want tracking your location. Also check the Items tab for AirTags — if an unknown AirTag is traveling with you, your iPhone should alert you.
Google Location Sharing: Open Google Maps, tap your profile picture, and select Location Sharing. End sharing with anyone who should not have access. Also review Google Timeline (Maps > Your Timeline) and pause or delete location history.
Life360 and similar apps: If you are in a shared circle, your location is visible to all members. Leaving the circle will notify other members. Plan the timing carefully.
Physical trackers: Check your car (wheel wells, under seats, in the trunk, behind bumpers), bags, and coat pockets for small unfamiliar devices. AirTags, Tile trackers, and GPS devices can be very small.
Carrier tracking: If you are on a shared phone plan, the account holder can often view your location through the carrier's app or website. The only way to fully prevent this is to get your own phone plan.

Step 5: Review Social Media and Privacy Settings

Social media can reveal your location, your connections, and your daily routine — all of which can be exploited by an abusive partner or stalker.

Set all profiles to private so only approved contacts can see your posts
Turn off location tagging on posts and photos
Review your friends and followers lists — remove accounts you do not recognize or trust
Disable the ability for others to tag you in posts or photos without your approval
Check which third-party apps have access to your social media accounts and revoke any you do not use
Be cautious about posting real-time updates about your location or plans
Review your profile for information that could help someone find you — workplace, school, neighborhood, or daily check-ins

If you are concerned about a specific person finding you through social media, consider blocking them. Be aware that blocking is visible to the person blocked — they will notice if they look for your profile. In high-risk situations, some survivors choose to deactivate accounts temporarily or create new ones under a different name.

Step 6: Create a Safe Communication Channel

If your current phone, email, or messaging apps are compromised, you need a way to communicate that your abuser cannot see.

Use an encrypted messaging app: Signal offers end-to-end encrypted messaging with disappearing messages. Install it on a device your partner does not access.
Set up a private email: If you have not already, create an email account your partner does not know about. Access it only from safe devices.
Use a secondary phone: If possible, obtain a prepaid phone for safe communications. Keep it hidden or with a trusted person.
Establish code words: Agree on code words with trusted friends or family members — phrases that signal you need help without being obvious to someone overhearing or reading your messages.

Use these safe channels to communicate with domestic violence advocates, attorneys, trusted friends, and anyone helping you plan your next steps.

Important: Do This Safely

If you are currently living with an abusive partner, resist the urge to change everything at once. A sudden lockdown of all your accounts, devices, and location settings can signal to your abuser that you are planning something — and that realization can trigger an escalation.

Instead, take a measured approach:

Make changes gradually over days or weeks when it is safe to do so
Start with steps that are least likely to be noticed — such as creating a new private email account
Save the most visible changes — like removing location sharing or changing shared account passwords — for when you have a safety plan in place or have already left
Work with a domestic violence advocate who can help you sequence your actions based on your specific situation
Trust your instincts — you know your partner's behavior better than anyone. If a step feels too risky right now, wait until conditions are safer

You Deserve Digital Freedom

Your phone, your accounts, and your online presence belong to you. No one has the right to monitor your conversations, track your movements, or control your access to technology. If someone in your life is using technology to watch, restrict, or intimidate you, that is abuse — and help is available. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788) to speak with a trained advocate who can help you take the next step safely. You do not have to navigate this alone.